As many of you know we had been planning to visit Antigua in April, a trip that was in the planning for over a year, well before Stuart got sick. Starting in January it was a constant topic of conversation, should we go, could Stuart do the trip, what supports would be there if needed? Right down to the week before departure Karen was on the fence, but the deciding factor was Stuart- he really wanted to go, even though his doctor thought it was not a great idea. As soon as we stepped foot in the beautiful home out on the hillside with water views all around and a comfortable chaise that he could sit in to gaze out at the ships going by- he was one happy camper. Yes- there were problems developing, and yes- we all knew pretty soon that we weren't going to make the week, but we had some special moments that we think made it all worthwhile.(Although Karen may disagree since she lost most of her sleep for 4 days...)
A wonderful moment was when Mac put Stuart in the golf cart to take a little tour of the golf course and you could hear Stuart say "just go! Let's get outta here!" He delighted in "escaping" from Karens' care and protection for just a few minutes. Later that afternoon we went down to the beach. We could see how thrilled he was to get into the water, and with Karen feeling a little protective I said "don't worry- Mac's not going to let Stuart drown!" and sure enough Stuart had those minutes of floating weightlessly in the clear blue Caribbean sea, which must have felt wonderful to his aching body. There were precious other moments when he was able to just be there, viewing the yachts in Nelson's Boatyard and remembering his solo trip to the island in the 70's when he slept on the beach. He had some special memories there, and we were so happy to see him relive a few.
The warm waters of the Caribbean will never be the same to us without our captain.
Helen and Mac Crary
2 comments:
Hi Helen and Mac,
How lucky for the two of you to be able to be with Karen and Stuart during his last trip to the seas ~ I admire all that Karen did and went through to make that trip possible for Stuart.
In fact, thinking about how completely Karen put her own life on hold so that Stuart could be Stuart and be available to all of his friends during his last months ~ mostly at home ~ is simply amazing love.
In my perspective, Karen was Stuart's safety net. Stuart could walk right up to the edge of life ~ maybe hang his toes over the edge more than once ~ and know that he was constantly surrounded by Karen's solid presence, love, sound judgement, all the while having the space and support to be totally himself. But, that is simply Karen's passion ~ creating spaces for others to be their best.
You are both very blessed to have been in the presence of such self-less love during that trip.
Patty
Helen and Mac,
What a beautiful lesson......
.....the support of family,
friends all loved ones make
the communal hug that allows
us all to be strong on our own terms
Karen was brave and smart enough
to reach out so early for help and
support and because of Helen
and Mac Stuart absorbed the
spirit and memories of a treasured
moment...
I've got goose bumps all around.
Steve Aveson
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