Russet in the Hole! - By Gordy Marshall

A couple years ago several of us “men” were hanging out on the porch in Gloucester; it was a quiet, slow day that needed a little shaking up. Somehow it was proposed that we build a potato gun. Stuart, one of the instigators, was clearly excited, for how often does one get to build something that shoots large brown objects great distances. It was also a cool project for Stuart because it involved gathering disparate parts and combining them together to make an incredibly powerful tool/weapon, a potato projectile. Stuart has always been intrigued with how things work and how they are put together; he had once told me that as a kid he enjoyed taking everything apart, whether it was toasters, or lawn mowers, just to see how they tick. Throughout his life he thrived with a great curiosity.

We went to work gathering all the appropriate pieces: a three foot piece of PVC pipe for the barrel, a starter for an outdoor grill to produce the spark, two bolts to help with the ignition, duck tape, several more pieces of PVC that would make up the explosive chamber, and hair spray. The power of hair spray has clearly been under-appreciated.

Rob, Chris and I had a little bit of knowledge, a little bit of skill and a lot of enthusiasm. Those are a dangerous combination when dealing with accelerants, pressure, and sparks. This was complimented, and a danger mitigated, by an equally enthusiastic Stuart who could work magic with his hands. Stuart, though he had little or no experience in the art of building a potato gun, was very capable with PVC. Not only is he an exceptional builder but a good plumber as well. He glued up the pieces and ensured that the seals were tight, reducing the chance of an unexpected, misdirected explosion. He and the rest of us got down into the details of how to appropriately set up the firing mechanism.

Throughout the process there was another part of Stuart that was evident but less obvious. It is a part of Stuart that I have seen so many times before on other more serious “projects” we have done together; there is was calmness, an inner strength, and quiet confidence shown by Stuart that reassures everyone around him.

Thanks to Stuart, the construction of the potato gun went without a hitch. We were reasonably confident we could fire out a potato and we were reasonably confident that it would not blow up in our faces. Someone was so confident that they got their baseball glove on and ran to the other side of the small bay/inlet to catch the brown vegetable, but perhaps they ran to the other side because they were not as confident about the blowing up in the face part.

So, we took our two and a half inch russet and rammed it down the three foot barrel with a long pole. It felt like we were in Napoleons army ready to battle with the rest of Europe. Fortunately Moscow wasn’t in our sights, ‘cause that didn’t turn out so well. Rather, our target was an innocent youth with a baseball glove one hundred and fifty yards away. We figured we wouldn’t even get close to him, that the russet would go half that distance and fall gracefully into the water between us.

One of us held on to the long barrel and aimed it, and another sprayed hair spray into the ignition chamber. The back of the gun was quickly closed to keep in the fumes, and the outdoor grill button was then pushed to send a spark to the chamber. Others covered their ears and squinted. All of a sudden there was a ‘thunk” and flame shot out the end. We looked up as this blur rifled through the air, heading straight towards the hapless outfielder. In no more than a second it whistled right past his head. He hadn’t even had time to raise his glove up for protection. We didn’t aim it at anyone after that.

I hadn’t seen Stuart laugh that hard in a long time. Stuart has always been a very peaceful guy but that day he built a cannon and loved it.